Shine Bright

~Little star--shining bright; first star I see tonight.

~Show the world what you show me? Don't burn out --shine bright & free.

~We twinkle dimly behind our masks; let them down ever so briefly for a friend that asks.

~Disguising genius under sheeps' clothing; why can't we just kick free of the molding?

~In our own company we shine so brightly; when the doors are locked & bolted tightly.

~We scream & rant, claim we want to be heard; when the moment arises we lose our nerve.

~How I long to take that mask & cast it away; dance in the light & show my face to the day.

~But the scars run deep, old habits are hard to break; to bare my soul may be a mistake.

~So I gaze up at the stars & long to shine too; if you can muster up the courage, maybe I can follow you.


*I write this for my mate, & for all my friends who shine so brightly. & I write it to myself....

Will I?

~When you're small you wonder, "What will I be?"

~ Will I find magic? Will I be free?

~Will I be like my Daddy? Will I make him proud?

~Then you grow older; your thoughts aren't so loud.

~You learn to be quiet; scream only in your head.

~You seek to belong; find more questions instead.

~Will I find happiness? Will I find love?

~Is the answer written in the heavens above?

~No--I don't think so...Where should I look?

~Perhaps I'll find it in a book?

~Will I show the world the real me--or will they see what they want to see?

~Will I find the courage to chase my dreams--or will I be what they want me to be?

~Will I find an answer? Will I find my voice?

~Is it true? Is there always a choice?

~Will I be forgotten? Will I just disappear?

~Will anyone hear me? Is my path unclear?

~What will I do? Why are all good things fleeting?

~Is there more? Something I'm not seeing?

~Perhaps I am thinking much too hard; nothing is written in the cards.

~Lets live in the moment; please lend me your smile.

~Lets close our eyes; disappear for awhile.

Falling Star

~Falling stars may burn my skin, but it doesn't stop me from chasing them.

~Running beneath, face turned up to the sky; if a star hits the earth, I wonder, will it die?

~Sparks rain down, dangerously close to me; never have I witnessed something so untamed & free.

~You inspire hope, & whisper in my ear; I cup my hand & strain to hear.

~Playing with fire, you're bound to get burned; but sometimes caution is better left unlearned.

~You forget how to trust, forget how to give; I'd rather take chances than forget how to live.

~I know better, but I don't care; chase your dreams & take the dare.

~We find ourselves jaded, blind & deaf; there must be more, something left.

~The world is decaying, there's so much pain; yet I am awestruck by the rain.

~You can find beauty in the strangest of places; wonder etched in the hardest of faces.

~Unchecked grins & smiling eyes; words that survive the test of time.

~Friends that stand with you & love that won't die; stop being stubborn & open your eyes!

~It's worth the risk, lest you die in a cage; "fuck it & jump", my favorite adage.

~So I run below, clutching my open jar; I'm gonna catch a falling star.

Freak-girl

She always knew she was different, that she didn't quite belong anywhere. Her family thought her strange, her co-workers thought her stranger. She was the Freak-girl, & her very best--& only friend--was Lenny the Lost Boy. Lenny spoke to her only in her head. Always.

Chattering, twittering conversations between the two of them made her days worthwhile; the Freak-girl was never completely alone. Was Lenny only a figment of her imagination? Or was he like her? She didn't care--not really. Well, maybe that's not entirely truthful.

How she wished to see him, with her very own eyes, & how she longed to be seen. She wanted so badly to be seen, really seen, by the one person who'd never made her feel expendable. Disposable.

So, it is on an ordinary day, like any other ordinary day, that the Freak-girl embarks upon her search. She must find him. Lenny, her lost boy.

The Freak-girl shuffles along quietly; she hangs her head, dark hair masking her face. It cascades down in soft waves, hiding soft grey eyes that shine like stars. She's beautiful, but she doesn't know that. So lost. So sad. Where is her lost friend?

She walks along, the rain steaming down, soaking her through. She doesn't notice; she's listening to the boy that no one else can hear.

-"Lenny? Where are you? Why do you hide from me?"

-"I would never hide from you." He answers her. "Not on purpose."

-"Then show yourself. Even if it's only to me. I won't tell anyone. I swear it."

-"I can't. I'm so sorry--but I can't. I don't don't know how." He pleads with her; the sorrow hangs heavy on his voice.

Salty tears stream down the Freak-girl's face; they mingle with the rain, so they aren't evident to the eye. Or they wouldn't be, if she let anyone see her face. Or if anyone bothered to look.

-"Please." She whispers to herself. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

It is at this very moment, from the corner of her eye, that she catches a glimpse of something; it shines from the road. She stoops to scoop it into her palm, brushes it clean with her sleeve. Upon closer inspection, it is only a coin. This small silver coin bares a unique, twisting symbol on one side, & a cryptic inscription upon the other. "Share with me; set your true self free."

-"What the fuck? Share what?"

-"Give it something. An offering." Lenny cuts in.

-"What can I give...to a coin?"

-"Give it something that only you have...just a little piece of you."

Freak-girl doesn't really understand, but she knows in her heart that there is more to this than what she sees.

She puts the coin to her lips, & exhales. Warm, steamy breathe fogs the coin, but nothing else happens. She kisses it; nothing. She places it on her tongue; it's cool, & the metallic taste fills her mouth...but still, it's only a coin.

-"FREAK-GIRL!" Lenny shouts at her; his voice reverberates through her mind. She jumps, startled, & bites down on her tongue. Hard.

-"Fuck! Goddammit Lenny!"

She tastes the blood...bitter & salty. It mingles with the metallic taste in her mouth, & as it engulfs the coin, something strange begins to happen. Freak-girl feels the butterflies in her stomach, as everything starts to tingle. & then her fingers start to fade. They're transparent.

-"Lenny?! What's happening to me?! Help me--please?!"

-"It'll be okay. You'll be like me now. We'll be together." He exclaims; there's a sick sort of glee in his voice.

Freak-girl's arms vanish, as the void crawls up her body. Devouring her. Making her...gone. She gasps for air. Panicking. Gulping. Eyes wild. Losing all tangible feeling. Just...gone.

It is then that she notices the boy flickering into view before her, as she flickers out completely.

-"Lenny! What the fuck did you do to me?! Lenny?!"

-"It's okay now. Don't be scared." He whispers with a crooked grin as he tousles his mousy brown hair. "No one will hurt you. & you'll never be alone again. I can keep you safe in my head now..."

Save Me

~You try to save me, but I'm not broken--at least not in the way you think.

~There's so much more than what you see, in all of us, & not just me.

~We view the world through a jaded mirror; we listen on a frequency you cannot hear. Perhaps if you turned down the volume on your television? Perhaps not.

~We see beauty in what you discard; find wisdom in what you deem nonsense.

~It's what sets us apart & gives us our voice.

~We're not ashamed of it--why should you be?

~You try to silence us, but we only scream louder. Shout & rant & learn to sing. Jagged, blistered, & raw.

~We band together like moths to a flame; reckless & free, we dance in the rain.

~We reject what you teach us--have our own moral code. It's not that nothing matters--but it's not the lies we're told.

~We inspire each other, & learn to trust ourselves.

~You cannot censor us. We scribble it on the walls, carve it into our skins. Seeking our place in a world that wasn't made for us. Trying to breathe.

~Brilliant minds & beautiful voices--discounted as odd. Left to rot. Waiting to be discovered. Waiting to be heard.

~We're here to stay--& you can't "save"us. We don't want to be saved.

Smile

~Snapshots in my mind; yellowed & faded 'round the edges.

~Everything looks the same; folks rushing about, going nowhere.

~Shrieking childen, shrilly ringing cellular phones; they grate against my eardrums like fingernails scraping along a chalkboard.

~The mundane runs together, blurring & mixing like wet ink.

~My eyes wander, seeking wildly for something beautiful amongst the plain.

~They fall upon a young boy, leaning against a wall; a lit cigarrette dangles from his lips.

~The words "punk-rock" come to mind; he sports a mohawk so vibrantly green it rivals only his eyes.

~People push past him, with barely a glance; they drag their inquisitve children along as if they may "catch" whatever it is that he has, & he sneers at them. They should be so lucky...

~I smile at this; the boy returns this gesture with a crooked grin that would shame the cheshire cat...

Little Lost Me

~I breathe in this world, & it saddens me; my mind drifts to a place where we're truely free.

~Where magic abounds & monsters are real; the strong survive & you aren't wrong to "feel".

~You fight for what's right, & your heroes don't die; where everyone "knows" & there's no need to lie.

~Instead of your tail you chase your dreams, & nothing is ever as it seems.

~You don't get swallowed by the day to day; say what you mean & mean what you say.

~Where more than a few of us see through the grime, & being different is never a crime.